The Pros and Cons of Breathing

I figured since Fall Out Boy and Panic! At the Disco (no !? With !? WHO KNOWS ANYMORE) are notorious for naming their songs after movie lines, I could take one of their song names and make it a blog title. If you didn’t guess from said title, this blog is about exercise. Uh duh.

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So, I have a gym membership. I haven’t used it in over a month. It was convenient because my old workplace would not let me work through lunch and leave early, so I just went to the gym during lunch.

Now I don’t have a job and my apartment complex has a crappy exercise room. But, it is so much easier to cross the street and work out than to drive to a crowded gym and work out.  So, here are some reasons I haven’t canceled my membership:

1. I have to call them. Ugh. I know it is easy, but I don’t wanna.

2. If I get a new job, I might be by the gym and it is easier to just go during or after work while I am motivated and need a distraction.

3. I like the idea of weights. The apartment gym just has a machine, which is actually a con, but I will get to that.

So what are the cons of keeping the gym membership you ask?

1. I AM POOR.

2. It is always busy. I have tried to find a good time. There isn’t one. Which means there really is never any space for me to do those weights that I find so attractive. I also do not look attractive using weights, so I like to do them semi-privately.

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3. If I know there is a gym-ish place right across the street, I am not motivated to drive over a mile to get to a different one.

Now what are the pros to working out at the complex de apartamento?

1. As previously mentioned, it’s close. Like, 50 steps. Me likey.

2. It’s free. (Ha! Not really. I have to pay rent.)

3. There is almost never anyone there.

4. Because there is almost never anyone there, I can pretend to be the front man of a band and rock out.

But, what goes up must also come down. Or, there are cons to everything. The cons to the home gym include:

1. If people do come in I can’t rock out, and since it is so small I can also smell their stink. Mehhh. They can smell mine too, but I have no shame in that department.

2. The weight machine is too large so you can’t use half of it because you just run into the wall.

3. It is dark.

4. This one is the worst. Randos (Lease managers, construction people, visitors, shady people) use the bathroom to poop. And sometimes it just lingers. Like come on. I am breathing extra hard, I don’t want to extra hard breathe in your poop smell.

So what to do? What. to. do?

Keep complaining.

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